Tis the Season

This little piece is a bit of a departure form the “tongue in cheek” fare you received from me in the past, but it is no less authentic. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this season of the year - both in terms of it being Chanukah and Christmas, as well as it simply being that time of the year when the focus turns inward.

As we enter this season, our thoughts turn to loved ones, peace, celebrations, feasting, giving thanks, shopping – decorating – shopping – decorating – more shopping…. You get the idea. With the vast and ever increasing commercialization, which has come to surround virtually every holiday, it’s easy to loose the real meaning of the season. Whatever the real meaning is – is a personal one. For some it is primarily religious, for others a way of connecting with old friends, family spread far and wide and for showing people we care. Somehow it is easier to give a plate of cookies to someone at this time of year, than it is to say – face-to-face our heartfelt “thank you” at the time it is most felt. Christmas and Chanukah give us permission to express joy, gratitude and celebration when our more reserved selves might have a harder time at any other point in the year.

Too often this time of year brings on feelings that we must compete with our spending level last year, don’t have enough to spend, don’t want to spend because we’d like to do something personal, handmade or symbolic – but feel we have to buy something because it’s “expected.” We can sometimes loose touch with what we really WANT the season to be about. Outside influences constrain us into rituals we may have inherited, but no longer fit us, and that we feel compelled to honor – although we would rather redesign. In that light I’d like to make a proposal that we give ourselves permission to create the holiday that is right for US, our families and our heartfelt desires for this season.

So often I hear “Oh how I would like to simplify this year!” Sometimes “simplify” relates not so much to “how much” but quality. It might mean something like becoming more “mindful” of what we are doing. Have you ever found yourself stumbling or being pushed through the mall at the last minute, bleary eyed and frazzled simply trying to find SOMETHING marginally appropriate – on Christmas Eve?

Well – here’s a thought. Before we get to that point, this would be a good time to think about how we really want to experience this season. There are no “rights” or “wrongs.” It’s absolutely as personal as how you would like to experience any other moment of your life. But instead of doing life by “default” i.e. living it in response to everyone else’s desire, demand or ideas, for just a moment F-e-e-l what it would be like if you could construct it from your heart.

We have, for the most part, become excellent responders and crisis managers. When asked, “What do you want?” how often has your first response been – well “I know what I don’t want.” In my contact with groups and individual clients, I am struck by how often we approach what “we want,” through the back door. We want peace, for example but we approach it through anti-war rhetoric or the war against (fill in the blank.) campaigns. We want more time with our families, but we approach it through elaborate plans to orchestrate complicated schedules and defend against what is taking up our time. When “all roads lead to Rome” but you want to go to Paris, it just might make sense to build another road. Create a new map – a new way of getting to where you want to go. Try a new paradigm.

For more years than I can remember, we have been hearing about ”positive thinking.” It’s a good concept – as far as it goes. There is no question that thinking differently changes our model of the world and our view of possibilities. In fact, it literally changes the opportunities available to us – partly because we begin to recognize opportunities that we simply never new were there before. But it gets better.

Although it is little understood, quantum physics is beginning to shed some light on this business of thought creating reality. You may have heard the expression “You create your own reality either through default, or through conscious intention.” Any of you who know me, know this is my mantra. I see the most amazing life changes resulting from people finally getting in contact with what they truly want, shifting their thinking and their emotions, and creating new circumstances for themselves. No, it’s not always done in a heartbeat, but it could be if we could let go of our old rule set long enough to explore a “new road.”

OK - so this is sounding a little esoteric you say. Or a little “new age” perhaps. Nah – it’s been around since biblical times. “Ask and ye shall receive.” Here’s the trick underlying it all. It has to do with the emotion you are feeling at the time you set your vision into place. The Native Americans had an expression: “Your dreams are carried to heaven on the wings of an Eagle.” In setting your intention or your goal, it works this way. Your goals (dreams) become real (are carried to heaven) by the power of your emotions (on the wings of an Eagle). In other words, whatever you are feeling at the time is what attracts events to you. You can think positive thoughts all day, but if you do it from a foundation of fear, anger, worry or depression – guess what you get? More fear, anger, worry and depression.

So, this year, when you find yourself in a snit having stood in the gift wrap line for 30 minutes, or after the cat jumped off your refrigerator landing with each of his four paws in a separate freshly baked pie (actual event from my childhood) – take a breath. Before you skin the cat, or call off Christmas/Chanukah – go to your fantasy vision – get in a good mood and set your sights on what you want. You will find – more and more – that in spending a little mental juice on how you would like things TO BE, it will become so. Looks for signs of “miracles” in every gesture, every moment and every kindness. If you want joy – give joy! If you want peace – feel peace in your heart of hearts.

GHANDI said it best: BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah. May this season bring you the hope of a child, joy in the present, peace in the contentment of life, and a belief in miracles.

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